Kenny Millions
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Poems

the eternal question answered


why are
we here
motherfuckahs?

why?

to be
cocksuckers
who
want
to see
some
freak shit



__________________________________________________________________________________________________


word


fuck shit up
fuck this
fuck you
I like
to use
the word

f#$%

a lot
why
I don't know why

it comes
to me
always
without thinking
easily as if
pouring
a glass of water
no effort involved

someone
once told me
jokingly
that I had
tourettes
what the fuck
I don't have
a tic

so what

obviously
this wonderful word
f#$%
is here to stay
leave it alone
cannot be
improved
or denied

fucking perfect




___________________________________________________________________________________________________



nothing to worry about


it's 4:40am
what is sleep
play guitar
maybe fall asleep
put these words
down
get the shit
off my mind
whatever
the shit is
play again
move my fingers
look at the clock
it's 4:44am
I've made progress
for someone
who loves sleep
as much as I do
too much happening
really enjoy
listening
to the noise
and then nothing

the words
come when
they want to come
as if I were given
a present

something
about knowing when
and what
luck is
and handed out

feeling lucky



___________________________________________________________________________________________________




motherfuckers keep fucking with my shit


this is how
I talk
this is my language
what's wrong
you don't like it
are you
offended
by the actual
words
the
literal implications
or are you
offended
by my madness

you want
your art
to be soft
easy
indecipherable
for
that appeals
to
the snob that you are

sorry
I can't give you
what
you want
nor can I
help you out
spoon feed you
with niceties
and
cozy reassurances

your problem
too complicated
a waste
of my time
your life
shallow
boring





____________________________________________________________________________________________________




a big fucking adventure in futility


it was
it is
and it will forever be

this futility
that clutters
my mind
for as long
as I can remember
does not appear
to change

my hands are up
I'm saying
I give up

ineffective
pointless
and
so what

some weird ass joke
is taking place
no one
seems to understand

my eyes are closed
my fingers
are moving
I hear my breath




___________________________________________________________________________________________________



it was a whore's night


it always
is
a whore's night
but
why do you
say that
are you
being mean
or are you
not nice
but
I am nice
I love whores
everybody
loves whores

and it can be said
everybody
is
a whore

life
as it is
seeing
life
as it is




___________________________________________________________________________________________________



I'm not religious


"This video
has been removed
because its content violated
YouTube's Terms of Service."

what did
I tell you
what did
I tell you

there's a war
being waged
between
the worst kind
of hypocrisy
religion
vs.
the best kind
of liberty
art

they expect me
to run away
my tail
between my legs
wimping and crying
wimping and crying

no fucking way

I'm not going anywhere
here to stay
here to annoy
here to disrupt
here to shout out
here to sing
what words
cannot express
but for
one word

free



___________________________________________________________________________________________________



rip it



passive
aggressive
enlightened
hostile
happy and sometimes sad
life is full
life is boring
stay calm get some sleep
tomorrow don't weep

creep
you jerk
get the beep
you mean fuck
outta here
it's nice to see ya
really nice
shut up
whaz up

many years
on the scene
seen too much
way too much
not enough
give me
more
you whore

I'm sick
of this crap
sick of it
stick it
I love this shit
love it
rip it




___________________________________________________________________________________________________


day gig



always had one
did what I had to do
kept my mouth shut
took the crap
my head down
ate the shit
barely paying the bills
at night
blew my brains out
with the
fucked up bands
at night
had fun
picked up the groupies
hung out

the early morning
dragged my ass
out of bed

now
the day gig
is waking up
any time I want
drinking
strong Cuban coffee
riding my bike
anywhere and everywhere

fuck yeah




___________________________________________________________________________________________________


yo sanctimonious motherfuckers


go ahead and block me
cut me out
flag me
delete my videos
remove my photos
hate my art
I know that your
religious
and
ideological dogma
turns you on
gives you a hard on
makes you
spiritual
and enlightened
for one
pretentious
self righteous moment

yo uptight motherfuckers
you will never understand
I don't expect
that you ever will

art is beauty
art is freedom
art is life



_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________



keep me high


I was in
the hospital
last year
they gave me
morphine
damn
that shit was good
for a couple
of days
I was in a space
like no other
a place that I've never been
although I know this place
in memory
of ancient times lived
with beautiful young
goddesses
rubbing
oils on my skin
fuck it
I want to feel
that way
again



___________________________________________________________________________________________________



we lost


the robots
have won
they are the master
we are their slaves
computers, cell phones, tablets
control our every action
every thought
impossible to eat,
shit, sleep, fuck
without checking in with
facebook, twitter, youtube
wise men warned us
many years ago
of course we didn't listen
it's too late
don't even try to escape
it's too late
now we're fucked

(the retarded motherfuckers can press "like" for this poem)






___________________________________________________________________________________________________


the numbers game


just trying
to keep living
it seems
like it's
already a
long time
not long
enough
is what
the voice
says
and
burns in me
I see
the happiness
the excitement
of youth
I'm a part
of it
it never left me
never will

the number
that we count
for the years
does not make
any sense at all
what is your age
how old are you
bullshit
too fucking abstract
I don't get it
what's the point

we're here breathing air
for as long as we can
breath air
that's it
that's everything
so what
a waste of
time to think
when is it when we stop
surround myself
with people half
my age
it feels good
they don't give a shit
I don't give a shit





____________________________________________________________________________________________________



to many questions


Q.
why do you
call the audience
cocksuckers
are you homophobic
A.
performance is art
is fantasy
on a fucking stage
not real
life is another fantasy
Q.
but why
is everyone cocksuckers
according to you
A.
fuck off





____________________________________________________________________________________________________


the upper class


rich white kids
who call
themselves
artists & composers
makes me want to vomit
they can't
suck dick
good
or
bad
or
never





____________________________________________________________________________________________________


since we're on the subject of ...


Q.
why is there
so much sex
in your
performances

A.
fucking
made it
possible
for me
to exist

And

everybody
likes

fucking





__________________________________________________________________________________________________


what


someone
I know

what

said

what

I should
play
metal music

what

that's what
I said

tattoos
harleys

kid shit



____________________________________________________________________________________________________



no idea


a fan recently
wrote
me
"I have to
laugh with all
the stuff
you
now do
I bet
there are people
who see you
perform
who have no idea
what a brilliant
musician you are"

I responded
"I like
being non-brilliant
it's

much less
trouble
and
much

more

fun"




___________________________________________________________________________________________________



accomplished


so you wanted to be
a fucking artist

ha ha

you did it
you performed
in
toilets




____________________________________________________________________________________________________


yo


nobody
gives a shit
about

art
any
more

the world
wants
to
see

entertaining
perverts & freaks




_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


gas


art or fart?
I'm so happy
to make
art and

fart



______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


this is what it comes down to



I'm a dirty
old man
I think about
sucking & fucking
all the time
shit
how old am I
17?
no
I'm just
a dirty old fuck
feels like
a disease
sucking & fucking
nothing on my mind

sucking & fucking


______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________




your choice

 

be happy
    or
be crazy
    or
be happy
being
crazy

                



__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

                                        something to say
 

                we are all pushed down
                with our faces
                in the mud

                so that
                eventually
                we will
               
                have something to say

               
                that


                no one

                can take away
 



      portrait of an artist, the dog

 

                                the dog is hungry

                                the dog cries for
                                affection
                                for food
                                the dog says ruff-ruff
 

                                the man pets it and throws it some scraps
 

                                contented
                                it rolls-up
                                on the floor and sleeps
 

                                the artist is hungry

                                the artist cries for
                                respect
                                for
                                        intelligence
                                        and virtue
 

                                the man looks at the artist
                                with indifference
                                tells it to go lay-the-fuck-down in the corner
                                and forget about it
 

                                complying with the man
                                the artist

                                continues to be
                                hungry

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________



 

              the latest

gig I played
a crackhead fan
told me
that it was
my best performance

ever

when I heard that
I immediately
tried to
think about all
the gigs I had
in my life

obviously
I couldn't remember
all of them

my brain got stuck

I wish I could
remember:

the insane gigs
the beautiful gigs
the fucked up gigs
the easy gigs
the boring gigs
the great gigs

then
it came to me

I played too many gigs
to remember
any of them

it was cool


_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
                   

                  don't talk

                            please
                            don't talk
                            to me
                            about
                            religion
                            or politics

                            I'm not interested

                            let's talk
                            about
                            sports
                            movies
                            the weather

                            anything
 
                            better

                            for me
                            and
                            the world
 
 


                              be positive

                            and
                            think positive thoughts

                            avoid negative
                            and
                            hateful thoughts

                            you've heard this before
                            and
                            you will

                            see it
                            and
                            believe it

                            when you live

                            right

                            right on

                            the right side

                            stay

                            stay on

                            the right side

                            is the
                            only side

                            no place to hide
                            on
                            the wrong side

                            and
                            you will
                            be right

                            right
                            on
 


                                                a bird
 

                                 I wish
                                 I was a bird

                                 live
                                 high up
                                 in a tree

                                 I would shit
                                 on anyone's head

                                 who walked
                                 directly under me
 
 



 

                    everyday magic
 

                                    ordinary
                                    everyday life

                                    very deep

                                    almost impossible to understand

                                    ordinary
                                    everyday happiness

                                    very deep

                                    almost impossible
                                    to comprehend
 

                                    i tie my shoes
                                    i untie my shoes

                                    i tie my shoes
                                    i untie them
 


 

                                    as a human being

an asshole is an asshole is an asshole is 
can't communicate to them as a human no matter how hard you try




                                            happy spider
 

                                walking into

                                the woods
 
 

                                a spider
                                patiently waits
 
 

                                the fly is caught
 
 

                                i leave
                                the trees
                                                                               (Sado Island, Japan)
 



 

                           give piece a chance
 

                                            a piece of pie
                                            a piece of cake

                                            a piece
                                            of ass
 
 


                      mentally ill
 

                                sometimes
                                I'm mentally ill

                                please
                                forgive me
                                when I fly
                                over the hill

                                the sun
                                always sets
                                it's such a thrill

                                I love
                                my wife
                                and
                                I always
                                will
 



 

                     a true artist
 

                                    a true artist
                                    only drives
                                    a mercedes benz
 


advice to a young artist
 
don't give up no matter what life throws
at
you

create your soul
not your mind

forget what the business fools
tell
you

and
most importantly

get a good day gig and a good woman

success
will follow
you
 
 


 
Bill loved guns

                                he was being
                                treated for
                                manic depression
 
 

                                their marriage
                                was in turmoil
                                because
                                Bill was
                                having an affair
                                with another woman

                                for the sake of
                                the family
                                Bill came home
                                to Kay

                                but the depression
                                continued
 
 

                                Kay was upstairs
                                and heard a loud
                                sound
                                that came
                                from down
                                the stairs

                                she dreaded
                                her thoughts
                                at that moment

                                she found Bill
                                laying on
                                the bathroom floor
 

                                Bill loved his guns
                                Kay said afterwards


             

                                                


            animal eyes
 

as I look
into
animal eyes

I see
life

looking at me
 

    in comparison
    human eyes

    cold and lonely

    they hide behind
    self important
    crap

    as if
    what they have
    and
    what they have
    to say
    will change
    the universe

    their absurd joke
    needs
    a punch line
    and
    a large audience
    to vomit in unison
 

what I need
what I have

the eyes
of my
animal friends




 

    milking the dead cow
 

                                            I continue to
                                            milk the
                                            dead cow
                                            of a
                                            career

                                            pride squeezing and pulling

                                            "the cow is dead"
                                            I keep telling myself
                                            "the tit is cold"

                                            the good times
                                            the insane lifestyle
                                            those memories

                                            as the reality
                                            a cold shower on a winter's day
                                            of empty promises telling me
                                            to give up my longing
                                            for the
                                            pie in the sky

                                            pride
                                            born of habit
                                            still squeezing
                                            sucking on
                                            the dead meat
 



every time I take a shit it's art!
 

            if I listened to all the assholes

            who told me that I don't play the real shit, etc.
            I would have quit
            a long
            time ago.

            I don't give a fuck what the bullshit experts say about
            anything.

            Every time I take a shit it's art!

            Who the fuck do they think
            they are......Don't listen to them.

            They all have their heads so far up
            their ass
            that they think
            it smells like roses
 



 

                                                   excuse me
 

                                excuse me

                                for being

                                myhappyself
                                myhappyself
 

                                excuse me

                                for being

                                myselfhappy
                                myhappyself
 





    not to be a star
 

                                    trying hard to be a star
                                    trying too hard
                                                    to be a star

                                    I must try
                                                    not to be a star
                                    try hard
                                                    not to be a star

                                    trying to be a human being
                                    trying hard
                                    to be
                                    human



                multiplexmulti
 

                                    multiplexmulti  multiplexmulti
                                    multiplexmulti  multiplexmulti
 

                                    multiplexity  multiplexity
                                    multiplexity  multiplexity
 

                                    PLEXMULTI  PLEXMULTI
                                    PLEXMULTI
                                    PLEXMULTI  PLEXMULTI
                                    PLEXMULTI
 

                                    multiplexticity
                                    multiplexticity
                                    multiplexticity
                                    multiplexticity
 
 



 

    for peace
 

                                they
                                finally
                                agreed

                                to have
                                peace

                                but there's
                                just
                                one
                                        small
                                                    thing
 

                                they love

                                love to

                                FUCKING
                                KILL
                                EACH
                                OTHER
 
 



 

                    ceilings
 

                                i remember being alone
                                really alone

                                so dedicated was i
                                left my home
                                to a strange country

                                half my time
                                laying on the bed

                                looking up
                                at a ceiling
 

                                ceilings

                                trying
                                trying too hard to be
                                somebody

                                anybody
 
 



 

                                        go
 

                            go
                            fuck
                            yourself

                            and

                            eat
                            shit


  people peephole
 

                                people people people
                                people people peephole

                                people people people
                                people peephole people

                                everywhere people
                                everywhere peephole
                                people everywhere
                                too many peepholes
 

                                what are they
                                what they are

                                who are they
                                who they are

                                what    who
                                what    who
                                why
 

                                people people peephole
                                people peephole people

                                people people
                                people peephole people
 
 



 
 

    remembering John Cage
 

                                a few years back

                        I was performing at a loft
                                concert in New

                        York    it was a special event and      because of that
 

                                all the                 seats
                                were sold out           before

                                the performance was about to begin

                        I looked to the back
 

                                of the room and noticed that John

                        Cage            was standing
                                apparently he was waiting

                                for a seat to open up
 

                        since there were no seats available
                        I decided to ask the
                        manager of the loft if he could
 

                        perhaps

                        find an additional chair to put in the front row
                                so that         John could sit down and
                                listen
 
 
 

                        the manager finally located a chair so

                        I walked to the back of the room
                                to let          John know
                        that there was now

                                a place for him
                        to sit down
 

                                because of the excitement of the moment
                        I impulsively said to him
                                "John    we now have a CAGE    for you"
 

                                he laughed

                                                and said to me
 

                                "thanks         I need one"
 
 



 
 

    for Sergey
 

                                my friend
                                you were special

                                you touched me
                                you touched others

                                came and went
                                where did you go?

                                I remember
                                        the car rides
                                        listening to the radio
                                any station
                                would be o.k. with you

                                I remember
                                        your shoes
                                        with the funny up-pointed toes
                                where are your shoes?

                                        the quiet moments together
                                        then the complete joy of the stage

                                        brilliant brilliant
                                        musicianship

                                most of all
                                I remember
                                        your warmth
                                        sense of humor
                                        humanness

                                "incredible" you would say

                                I say
                                you were incredible

                                my life
                                never again the same
 



 

                      simple not simple
 

                                simple
                                simplicity

                                simplicity
                                never simple

                                simple
                                never simple
                                never simplicity

                                plicity plicity

                                not non simple

                                simplicity
                                non simplicity

                                non simplicity not
                                simple minded

                                simplicity simple
                                simple not simple
 
 



 
 

    the animals
 

                                the animals
                                the animals

                                the humans
                                the humans

                                the animal humans
                                the animal humans

                                the human animals
                                the human animal humans

                                the animals are my friends
                                        humans are not my friends

                                        human animals are my friends
                                the humans are not the animals friends
 

                                humans think they are above animals
                                i think animals are above humans

                               humans think they are above everything
                                        i think humans are above nothing
 

                                the animals
                                the animals

                                the human animals

                                the animal humans
 
 


                           a dime a dozen

                                             my father
                                             always told me
                                             when I was a kid

                                            "musicians are worth a dime a dozen"
                                            "worth only a dime a dozen"

                                              he was right

                                              now
                                              that I look back
                                              and think about it

                                              sometimes

                                                              I wonder if I'd listened to him
                                              during that young
                                              and idealistic dream time

                                              where

                                              would I be today
                                              and
                                              what would I        be doing?

                                              hard to say
 


        excuse me for being boring
 

                                excuse me
                                EXCUSE ME

                                excuse me
                                EXCUSE ME

                                excuse me for being boring
                                EXCUSE ME FOR BEING BORING
 

                                excuse me
                                EXCUSE ME

                                excuse me
                                EXCUSE ME

    excuse me for being
                                boring
                                EXCUSE ME FOR
                                being BORING
 
 


(All poems Copyrighted by the Author)

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